Lonely Third Culture Kids

David C. Pollock maintains that there are five types of traditional TCKs: Foreign Service Kids, Military Brats, Corporate Brats, Missionary Kids, and Other. I’m… not really sure how ‘Other’ is traditional, but it’s nice to be included.

One thing I love about my identity is how it can be shared with people who have entirely different lives to mine. Everyone knows by now I’m a TCK because I grew up on a boat, and they seem to (correctly) think it’s pretty cool. They discount their own reasons for being TCK by waving off questions and saying ‘my story is boring’ or ‘does it matter?’

But then you wear them down and you learn something crazy like ‘my dad was a diplomat’ or ‘my mom was a marine’ and there’s this huge family story about how and where they’ve lived, and it’s awesome! I just bobbed around in the ocean for a bit; Traditional TCKs were living lives surrounded by interesting people, going to international schools, learning about the world with their eyes wide open.

Pollock defines Traditional TCKs as:

‘A Traditional Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who spends a significant part of his or her first eighteen years of life accompanying parent(s) into a country or countries that are different from at least on parent’s passport country(ies) due to a parent’s choice of work or advanced training.’

Even after 21 years of being a TCK, it fascinates me that other people have been researching this since the 1950s or so. I love that I can meet other TCKs and already know them, even if we are strangers. It’s like meeting a family member for the first time, only there’s no awkward silence full of expectations like ‘why aren’t you married yet?’ There’s just acceptance and understanding. Norma McCaig calls it a ‘reunion of strangers’, which I think is the perfect turn of phrase.

Wanna know something else? In our increasingly globalised world, more and more people are growing up in multiple countries. There’s certainly more Foreign Service Kids and Corporate Brats in the world than ever before, and look at me! I’m something new, something other, something very untraditional, but I’m still a TCK. The way the world is growing, there are going to be more and more TCKs all around the world, and as more people even within single countries are influenced by outside cultures, there’s going to be an increased understanding of TCKs.

It’s easy to feel alone when you’re the only person living your life… especially when that life is as unique as a TCK’s experience. But just remember: you have a global family who gets exactly the same feeling you do, and we’re here for you.